Friendship the way I learn it

There are billions of people on Earth, and sometimes we just care about one, ourselves. But this is actually a faux, we want to believe that we care about us, that we made everything to take care of our health, and that we live our lives the best we can. But the way I see it, this is not true, not even close. We live our lives wondering what others think about us, observing what others have and we don´t, we spend more hours analyzing the actions of the people in front of us than sleeping. Not so long time ago I used to be a very lonely girl, because I had a wrong idea about friendship. I realized that the best way to avoid pain was to stay away from any kind of interaction with people that weren´t part of my family or necessary to relate with. I became a lover of internet, and my friends became just nicknames and chats. I even create a cybernetic family with persons all around the world that were improbable to meet some day. Friendship for me was just a conversation with a bunch of people talking about my favorite Tv show, that was it, nothing personal, nothing that could possible hurt me because  I wasn´t really sharing my life, just superficial thoughts and dreams about an illusion, a life that didn´t exist. But I was wrong, somehow and somewhere in time I started to share my life, my feelings, my toughs and dreams. And I get hurt by someone I called friend, someone that I traveled a long way to meet and that for almost 3 years I considered my sister. So, I get so disappointed that I promise myself not to trust again in anybody, and I closed my heart. Internet wasn´t safe, life wasn´t safe, maybe inside my mind no one could ever hurt my feelings. When my grandmother notice that I didn´t have any friend, that my books and my drawing were the only partners of my life she talked to me and said something that I could never erase from my mind. She said “You have to know that someday someone will came into your life, and that someone will became your soul, she or him won´t be necessarily your lover, that person will be just your other half. And that person or maybe those people will become your family, your support; you will live with them the best moments of your life and also the worst”. I answered that the only friend and family that I needed was her. My grandma was everything for me, and I get scared when she said “not forever, I´m old and tired”.  Someday she forgot her keys and the next year she forgot my name. She had Alz Heimer, a disease that made her forgot about everything except two things, one was the love of her life, my grandpa, and the other one was her joy and passion for music. She was the only one in my family that encouraged my dream of being an artist and not a physician. Almost two years ago when I change my career my life change completely, I meet people that now a days are the best friends that I ever have, but once again I made the terrible mistake of being afraid of get hurt and I doubt of them. Last year, my grandma past away, and it was the worst day of my life. I was in a room full of people but I never felt so lonely. My world crushed and I was standing in front of my grandma´s coffin when my mobile started ringing, it was someone I never imagine that she can be my friend but that terrible day she accompanied me in the most hurtful experience of my life. Later that day I realize that my grandma was right, now I have some friend, my other half. They are not perfect, and maybe I´m crazy but I learned that their weirdness is the most wonderful thing that ever happens to me.